Lots of people, all the cool kids anyway, are talking about ways to use social media to market their business. You can create a Facebook fan page, start a LinkedIn group, or tell the world about your services on Twitter. These are all great things to do. But for us, the real value in social media is how it enhances our efforts to create meaningful relationships with new people. That’s right – We’re real d*#kholes on the surface, but deep down, we just want what Freddie Mercury wanted…no, not aids silly…we want an old fashioned loverboy mustache and somebody (a client) to love (who pays well). Let’s take a look at one jerk’s before and after scenario.

How networking used to work:

I’d meet someone (let’s call him Dave) at a meeting or networking function. Dave and I would chat about this and that, maybe talk about how much we loved the new Patrick Lencioni book or what a giant disappointment the last Harry Potter turned out to be (movie, not the book…ok, both). Then, we’d exchange business cards and move on to meet more people. A day or two later, I’d e-mail Dave and tell him how nice it was to meet him. If Dave was really interesting, I’d invite him out for a cup of coffee. Then we’d go our separate ways. Even though I wanted to stay in touch with Dave, calling him or inviting him out for more coffee seemed a little pushy, if not downright creepy. Dave and I might see each other again, a few months later, at another event. We’d politely say hi and engage in more small talk. But such an amount of time had passed that it was like we were meeting all over again.

Hey, cheer up, Charles. It doesn’t have to be like that. Here’s how it works now:

I meet Dave at a meeting or networking function. Dave and I chat about this and that, then exchange business cards (no time to focus on Patrick Lencioni discussions in today’s fast-paced world). Sounds familiar so far, right? Here’s where it changes. A day or two later, I invite Dave to connect on LinkedIn. I see that he knows my friend Jen and that we both went to the University of Cincinnati. We exchange several e-mails about how fun it was to go to Murphy’s Pub back in the day and the time that Jen threw up on a candidate during an interview – man, that candidate nearly beat her to death – Dave always thought that was the funniest thing. I also find him on Twitter and Facebook, and connect there. As time passes, we interact from time to time on Facebook chat and Twitter. We also easily keep up on what the other is doing, who their meeting with, and yes, even what we’ve eaten for lunch on these venues (turns out, we’re both devastasted that Dream Girls did away with the free steak dinner). At the next event, I know to look for Dave because he’s seen on my Facebook page what I’m going and twittered that he wants to say hi. When we see each other this second time, we have so much to talk about. I ask about his son’s piano recital, and how his wife’s new job is going. He wants to know how my novel is coming along and when my husband’s band is playing out again. It feels like a real conversation with a friend, and not just a re-introduction. Things are much spicier this time around.

Now multiply the second scenario times many Daves and Darlas and Doreens and whoever elses (prefereably names that start with “D”), and you’re building up more than just a network of acquaintances. You’re creating a group of people who know and trust you. And people who know you are much more likely to refer you, buy from you, and introduce you to their connections. Not to mention that you now have many more people that you feel comfortable referring, buying from, and introducing.

Does it take time? Yes. Is it worth it? Of course. Unless you love failure, then it’s not worth it.

How could you make over your networking connections using social media?